As many of you know, the new year resolution is designed to be a process of change for the individual. It's basically an excuse to step your pussy up and do something different about your life may that be get a new job, lose weight (one which I am hoping to achieve ready for my much needed holiday in June) or just for good health and happiness as the new year progresses.
My biggest new year resolution this year which is already becoming one I feel the pressure to achieve - and I hope will resonate with many people my age - is to save money. Now, I'm privileged to come from a family who will always be there to support me financially and "lend" me some money to pay off expensive things (like the fact last year that despite 3 years of driving experience, I still can not park my car or do anything successfully involving the reverse gear or below 5mph for the life of me, resulting in me damaging my delicate plastic suzuki alto a horrible 3 times). With that being said, you're probably wondering why is she moaning? There are people who are worse off financially than she will ever be and, to be honest, there is a part of me that is looking at myself and saying "Pull yourself together guurrl for fuck's sake".
However, I am one of those people who hate to sponge off others and my lifelong goal is to NOT sponge off the hard worked fortunes of my mum and my dad's family for the rest of my life (unlike certain individuals in my family - mentioning no names). I want to make something of my life. I want to be able to be self-sufficient and fund myself so that I can do nice things in life like travel, eat out at nice places, provide great memories for my boyfriend and to stop being so jealous of that lifestyle people in my own year in school (people I would never expect to be in that situation) live now.
The feeling of jealousy of other's success is horrible and I frown upon it massively....but I just seriously can't help it. My god, I get jealous by the fact my boyfriend gets more money - even with him being younger than me - simply by the fact that he had such a shit childhood being in care for part of it. Yet, despite those hard times, he has managed to make something of his life and make it admirable; he's now in uni studying for a career he's always wanted to do, he holds a seasonal/part-time job that allows him to be flexible (if ever so slightly take the piss with his hours) and STILL, and most importantly, HAVE A LIFE. My biggest question is: why can't I?
Do you know what that answer is? Money. Since sixth form, I've had a part-time job which starts at a contract of small hours but I work myself silly just to see myself have loads of money at the end of the month. I have been obsessed with money and earning a hard keep ever since I turned 18. But now I'm with someone who rightfully so wants to make a life and live young (like it should be), I can't help but feel I have no choice but to be tied down with a job just to make ends meet.
So, my biggest resolution for 2019 I guess is to change my outlook on money. Yes, I need to start saving my money and stop splurging on Haribos and KFCs (as bloody lush as they are). On the other hand, I need to view money as a positive rather than a necessity. I WANT to be able to travel abroad and see those unforeseen sights and beauties. I WANT to be able to provide a long-term financial future for myself as well as with my other half particularly if we are going to last for a long time. I WANT to stop moaning and fretting over how much I have each month and, instead, see money as an opportunity to take me to places and heights I never would have reached without it.
I want to be able to look back on this post come November/December with a different perception on that shiny pound coin. This blog is not necessarily to please people or to get fans; if anything, it's a positive way for me to rant and stop crying or moping over things that are so pathetic but aim to look at these things that are bothering me and ask myself, "Can I look at this positively? Or is this something that really needs me crying over?"
Also, if you do come across this blog and can think of any money-saving advice, PLEASE don't be afraid to tell me. I will take any advice I can - even if it means cutting back on life's luxuries for me to have those opportunities in life :)
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